SKEWED
I know I shouldn't be blogging as my design project report is due by the end of the month and I have absolutely no idea how to get it on track.

It's been the most lopsided semester so far. The first half of the semester was so slack that I decided to take up driving as my "6th module". It was so slack that I had time to read through my notes three times. Now I have barely any time to read through the tutorial questions.

My FYP chemical has arrived and suddenly I have to spend a lot of time in the lab doing stuff. Yes, it is mildly interesting but I have other more important things on my mind. Of which, I am getting jittery about my results. I need every ounce of luck and hard work to achieve my desired CAP. And that means packing modules during Special Sem and perhaps even staying the duration of the entire 4 years.

Life just likes to make fun of people sometimes. Though I didn't admit it last sem, and I really hate to admit it; I actually feel a bit 舍不得 about leaving my friends behind and graduating early. Sigh.. when school life was terrible and I wanted to leave, the end of the tunnel seemed like so far away. Yet when the end is near, things changed for the better and the urge to leave is not that strong anymore.

Yes, graduating early would give me a financial headstart which I estimate to be anything from $3000 - $15000. And not to mention the extra 4 months of experience as well as the extra pro-rated bonus at the end of the year. But the extra time spent with your friends? Priceless... Ok this sounds really corny.

More realistically, I NEED to stay the final semester so that I can take more modules and score well in them to dilute my bad results last time. Well, by right I could still achieve that miracle in 3.5 years but I have to be more realistic.

Actually I didn't want to tell u all until I made up my mind. Have until August to decide. But I guess that's where the pressure (to do well this semester) comes from. It's either I work very hard or I can afford to relax. The rewards, if I suceed, will be tremendous, and I would have deemed to have right all the wrongs that university life has given me.

I do not like to do things half-heartedly. The only way is forward.
- posted by FaceOff^ @ 7:42 PM 1 comments

 
LOSING THE CONNECTION
As a form of celebration for the end of my mid-term tests and the purchase of a new laptop(there's nothing much to celebrate actually), I am back with a random post. I shall just write anything that comes to mind. Here goes...

Actually, I have a lot to say, having accumulated topics that range from me being assaulted on the streets by a man in a Tweety-Bird costume to why I refuse to smile at babies in public. But somehow I never got around to writing them. Writing (and reading) blogs can be such an emotional thing.

Talking about emotions, I think over the years, I have been communicating with my diary less and less about my thoughts. I used to remember how I would spend the hour before bed to write an entry without fail in the diary that Beam gave me for my birthday. During my army days, it's just scribbles on some yellow paper which probably have disintegrated by now. And now, it's just a password-protected Microsoft Word document.

Just for example's sake:
Thurs 09/03/06
PC tutorial
lab officer said waste chemicals must label with full name
printed notes for whole poly gang
lunch with them
E2 passed hysys file to **
Library study microE
++ came, )) and (( came to borrow hw
dinner ++, >>, ##
[final line censored]

See what I mean? My diary entries are becoming more and more meaningless??

On a completely unrelated note, CY asked me to be an actor in his video shoot for his film-production module. Had I agreed, I had to be someone's "boyfriend". I was like "huh?". It was a definite no-no. Acting was hard enough, acting in a role like this? I just cannot do it. Sorry to CY, even though we had been very good friends for very long, I had to decline.

Then again, if it was pretty bad for me, it must have been even harder to find a female actress. Imagine how paiseh she would have felt. Fortunately, CY managed to find a friends willing to take those two roles. Interestingly, I thought it would have been easier to find a "real" couple for the video shoot, but he only managed to get two friends who were strangers. Hmm...

I remembered how years ago, Excel asked to interview me cos she wanted to do an interview of a blogger. I considered for very long and finally got Wendy to do the interview instead. But I have a question unanswered: Would I have gone for the interview had Wendy refused? This question would extrapolate into: How far will I go beyond my comfort zone to support a friend?

On yet another completely unrelated note, I take little or no pleasure whenever I change new stuff. Take my laptop for example, rather than delighting in the purchase of a new item, somehow I wished the old one didn't give up on me. And a guy at McDonald's (oh what the heck was I doing there?) was staring at my Nokia 8855 I had since 2002 as though he has just seen an antique. Recently, I noticed someone staring at my wallet too (can't remember who).

And yes I do remember once when Elinear, skygazer, KL and I were having lunch and they were laughing at how KL's wallet was falling apart. At that point, I wanted to pull out my wallet and say that say that guys like KL and me are hard to find nowadays cos we very 专一. Haha but I couldn't think of a good English word to represent 专一. So I decided to keep quiet then. Anyway I decided during my army days that guys shouldn't be buying their own wallets; they should be carrying wallets that their sweethearts buy for them. Therefore, I will only change my wallet when it is a gift from a loved one or the old one falls apart, whichever is earlier.

- posted by FaceOff^ @ 8:44 PM 0 comments