SLEEPLESS
Can't believe I was touched by Keanu Reeves' "Hardball".

And I also can't believe what a stone I am. I can watch a football match without showing any hint of excitment. Even when a goal is scored.

Deco scores a goal for Portugal!

Me: ..... (silence)
Me: *expressionless face*
Me: *scratches head*
Me: *shuffles in my seat from the uneasiness"
Me (thinking to myself): Am I supposed to celebrate or what?

I think I have surprised my brothers' friends when they came over for EPL last time. I can remain like a stone even when my favourite team scores.

Which is why I found it intially uncomfortable when CY and I went to a football match. S'pore versus I-can't-remember-who, but it was the one that clover went to also. It was funny leh, just can't bring myself to stand up and cheer and curse the referee like the fans around me.

Also reminds me of the time I went to Funkamania with elinear and gang. What? You expect me to don a red bandana to cheer? I'd rather eat a red banana. You gotta be kidding. Though I went with an open mind cos it was supposed to be a group outing and I was (just a little) curious about the event.

I refused to sing the uni school song when I was at the Dragonboat competition.

Haha, sometimes it just makes me feel that elinear's interests are so far removed from mine. But that's not the main point today.

If you happen to realize, I always clap about one or two seconds later than the rest. After a item at a concert hall or at any thing that requires clapping. It just makes me feel that if you clap immediately after an item ends, you are actually anticipating the item to end and you are not appreciating the item to its full extent. I always take the two seconds to absorb in before I clap and even when I clap, I do it without gusto.

I think maybe some people would misunderstand and give me the disgusted look whenever they see everyone around me clapping and me just folding my arms.

But anyway that's not the main point today either.

The main point today is that not matter how hard I tried to remove the potential triggers, I still lost sleep. The day before the exam. It's so easy for me to lose sleep. I can lose sleep even if I use a different brand of toothpaste to brush my teeth.

I was too nervous maybe. I would usually lose sleep on the day before school reopens too. Just couldn't get to sleep. The fact that my bro was watching the world cup made it worse. But this time I was surprisingly calm about it. Despite not resting well mentally, I told myself to at least rest my physical body well and I lay in bed for several hours.

Thank goodness, the lack of sleep didn't affect my exam at all. The paper went well. There wasn't any question that I didn't know how to do, but how well I would fare is another problem cos of the usual bell curve problem.

Still remember how I lost sleep not long ago before my petroleum refining exam (first paper). And I lost sleep on the day before ESS too. That was the worst maybe. Cos that night, my bro and his friends were watching football till very late and after the match still stayed up to play my PS2. It made me wonder why I subscribed to cable tv and bought a PS2 when these things came back to haunt me and make my life difficult.

I do not have anything against them really. Just that I really dun live in a bungalow. If I lived in a big house, it would be no problem at all. I might even become good friends with them. My bro and I are fast growing out of our living spaces. The other reason (other than my home is extremely untidy) why I dun really like my friends to come over is because I feel that this would encroach into his living space. Sometimes when I show other people the respect, I wonder whether they would show me the same respect back.

It is also very ironic that I actually have to endure sleepless nights in my own home caused by external factors.

Just another thing is that I bought a tv tuner card years ago which i use to record my tv programs on my pc. Then my sisters became so reliant on it that I actually have to sacrifice time on my PC (for school assignments) just to let them use it.

Life becomes an irony when the acquired things that you thought will benefit you actually exacts a heavy price on you instead.
- posted by FaceOff^ @ 11:04 PM