COUNTING MY BLESSINGS
The module in which I flung my first test is over. Just finished the second and final test this morning. Relief.. I hope I had salvaged whatever there is left to salvage from this module. Honestly the module had been rather painless, and a breeze to take. It's just that a little bit of bad luck can really hurt.

Talking about bad luck. Even today's test had been quite lucky. I was falling sick again recently. Yesterday, I was feeling traces of headache but not bad enough to affect my studying. Great. Took panadol and went to bed and woke up this morning quite fresh.

Then feel stomachache creeping up just before the test. It kinda threatened to take my concentration away. But fortunately, it wasn't that bad and I was able to survive the test without any problems.

The thing was... two hours after the test, a really bad headache hit me and I am actually still hurting right now.

Now, once again, should I be glad that this headache didn't hit me during the test? Or should I curse the fact that the headache happened at all??

Life seems to enjoy making fun of me.

I still remembered about two months ago, was almost knocked down by a car when crossing the road from Kent Ridge terminal to the bus-stop along Arts. I was almost knocked down there about a year ago, so I told myself to be careful. Somehow I had a bad feeling that day, and somehow I told myself that I should take my headphones off. (I usually take my headphones off when I am not on the bus). But that day I just didn't. I just didn't feel like taking them off.

I was blurry, feeling a little unwell that day. And I was just about to dash across the road, and I already put out my right foot when a car just whizzed past me, just centimetres short of running over my foot. If I had already in the middle of dashing across the road, I probably wouldn't be speaking to you right now.

The first time I almost got knocked down about a year ago, I was in bad mood the whole day and kept telling myself that I didn't want to die as an undergraduate. That was when I knew that getting my butt out of the university was important to me. I still remembered being consoled by clover and skygazer during dinner. However, this thought didn't come to my mind after this recent near-accident (even though this recent one was an even closer shave than the one a year ago), which meant that leaving the university is no longer that important to me.

Anyway should I be thankful that I came out of that unscathed? Or should I be unhappy that fate "arranged" the near-accident at all?

Somehow I feel that I am quite blessed already. Even small things like my laptop spoiling before I started on my VERY important reports and not during, and the fact that I got a gut feeling it is spoiling and I backed up all my files successfully (after the back-up, it went dead immediately and never revived, what a close shave) and I bought a replacement laptop for a real bargain off ebay.

And the big things, things that really matter. Family's been pretty stable, growing closer to my friends, being accepted, good luck in my academic life generally. Ok, health has not been that good. Though I didn't believe it years ago, it is now near impossible that I be dragged down into the gloom which spanned from 1999-2004.

But I still feel that I deserve more. Am I being too greedy?
- posted by FaceOff^ @ 8:31 PM